Cyberbullies Are Taught, Not Born

You don't have to go very far to see adults behaving badly. It's rampant in your Facebook feeds, in Twitter, and pretty much every facet of media.

Here's just a couple of examples take from the day I wrote this post:

For generations, psychologists and law enforcement have been assessing the home lives of those who perpetrate crimes. It may not be 100 percent of the time, but in many cases, if a child has witnessed their parents disrespect for authority, bully their spouse, steal or cheat in some way, it leaves a resounding impact.

Children learn bullying behavior from their parents. While it's difficult to find links that say this about cyberbullying, the correlation can still be made because cyberbullying is still bullying, whether you're a child or an adult.

Hate begets hate.

I don't have to tell you that adult bullying is rampant in the workplace. We've all had that boss or know of a co-worker who makes life miserable for the rest.

Here is an interesting post about serial bullies from bullyonline.org.

So if all these bullies have kids... But the reality is, bullying behavior is now an online reality. This is the new real life. You can turn off your computer, but it will still be there for the rest of the world to see.

There is a wonderful movie I just saw online that focuses on a school cyberbullying incident to which I will discuss in another post. Some bullies may not think of themselves as bullies, until someone exposes them. Others don't care. But if a child is a bully, chances are the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. If all adults, whether parents or not, checked themselves before they lash out, before they make a mean comment, think of their motive before posting something, and know that someone is always watching and waiting to use their lead, then maybe we can change the world, one post at a time. Respect, regardless of race, religion, size, culture, age, job title, politics, hair color, clothing, sexual orientation, or country.

Customers Who Are Bullies

"People treat us this way (with disrespect) because they don't respect us." +Jeff Mowatt

Do you ever find in business that the people who pay the least amount of money for your services or who wine and dine you until they learn the contract isn't free, these are the ones who cause you the most grief?

Most of the time, before you sign someone up, you have an inner sense that this might be a difficult customer. But you want their business anyway because they may be high profile or they're someone with an interesting job description. Other times, the customer catches you off guard.

Sometimes, not always, that sixth sense comes true. Maybe the reason you feel it beforehand comes down to seven letters: r-e-s-p-e-c-t. You don't necessarily feel that it goes both ways.

You may be just starting out and you need the business. Unfortunately, that is when you talk yourself into such a contract, even if you know it's going to be a dud. They nickle and dime you and have a freak-out on every little thing that doesn't go exactly to plan. If you're not available at the customer's beck and call, they berate you until they bring you to tears, all because you weren't there for some answer to an impromptu question that could have waited until morning.

Mowatt says everything comes down to this: equal status. Both you and your customer are equals. If it doesn't feel that way, then you may want to reconsider continuing the relationship.

The sad thing is that you have no control over your customer's behavior. They can easily post a horrific review about you on Yelp or worse.

Certainly if your client is a bully, nothing you can do or say will alter his or her behavior. You can only distance yourself and go about your day. If they decide to use the Internet as a weapon, then document everything, investigate as to which laws they might be breaking, and file a police report, then go about your business as if they don't exist.